Wednesday, August 23, 2006

TC no longer Top Cat!

Ok, I can't help but cheer, Brooke Sheilds may have forgiven him via an exhange of fruit baskets but I am not so gracious! The TC has taken the lively and Catholic Katie Holmes & turned her into a Stepford Wife, dissed psychiatry and rubbished PND. The Oprah incident was a bit like watching Celebrity Big Brother, which I absolutely love for the insights it offers into the nuttiness that is celebrity. We can't quite get that in a still shot, and Anthea Turner would never have made a comeback unless she had been seen showing someone how to put a duvet cover on in the CBB house.
Actors/celebrities are all self-absorbed, even if they appear fragile and not over-confident, rather than ego-centric. They have to be because their job is all about them and anyone who has read a magazine article about anyone famous knows they all start with how unstarry the star is, but we are not fooled.
Anyone who has had the fame of the TC has become used to considering themselves a maverick, funny, or whatever, without realising that they're surrounded by sycophants, publicists and people who love them who are viewing them through rose tinted paycheques. TC can't really act, is probably gay, is not very attractive, and is definitely too short. Scientology is a bit bonkers, even if I do really like Travolta, & jumping on Oprah's couch was the action of a man who thinks he is spontaneous but, in reality, has just hired his sister to do his PR (though he thought better of that pretty quickly). The only way to hit TC was via his box office, Hollywood is big business; way to go Paramount!
To briefly go back to Z list celebrity, I feel I must share Anthea's top ten tips with you:
Here are Anthea's top ten tips for keeping an ideal home. Follow them and you too can become a perfect housewife or househusband...
You can’t run a home that’s a mess, so first of all you have to de-clutter it. If it’s not beautiful, useful or seriously sentimental, it goes. Charity shop or bin - you decide!
2. There's no getting away from it: you have to clean. People who say "oh, my house is a bit of a mess, but I’m really clean" are talking rubbish because you can’t have a tidy house if it’s not clean.
3. Make the house into a home. Consider your house from an aesthetic point of view. Rearranging furniture, adding some candles, or making even small tweaks can really make the difference.
4. Run a home like you would a small business and treat it with the same seriousness. If you’re job-juggling, then it’s obviously more difficult than if you're a full-time housewife/husband. If you are a housewife, take pride in that.
5. Storage is important. Whether it’s cushions you only use outside in the summer, or blankets that only come out in the winter, you’ve always got to think of where to store them. Try vacuum-packing to save space. Wicker baskets are marvellous for putting things in. If everybody knows where everything is kept you can avoid wasting time looking for things.
6. Think about how you run your home. Could it be done more efficiently? In the series, one househusband keeps all his shoe-cleaning things in a lounge drawer but, of course, he cleans his shoes in the kitchen. Be practical.
7. It’s also about team work. When children get to a certain age they can help by putting dirty washing in the right place and making their own beds. The first rule of management is delegation. Don’t try and do everything yourself because you can’t.
8. Don't use too many household cleaning products which are harmful to the environment. Try cleaning with vinegar, or just use one damp cloth swilled in cold water and one dry cloth. For cleaning windows and mirrors, you can’t beat scrunched-up newspaper, dampened down with some white vinegar and water.
9. Avoid wastage. If you’re cutting up a lemon, put the left-over half into the dishwasher. It adds a little ting and sparkle in your wash.
10. Domestic paperwork (bills, guarantees, insurance) is very important, so don't avoid it! A proper family diary with everyone’s events and parties in it really helps organise the household.
I think it might have been Shirley Conran who said that life is too short to stuff a mushroom, am I just a complete slut or is housework really not that important. Choosing between running a hoover around or going out for lunch, I know which I'd choose. I worry that shows like Anthea's may be making us feel inadequate, but they make me laugh at anyone taking it all so seriously.


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